Friday, August 24, 2012

And it's Hard to Say Goodbye

Hello my beautiful blog readers. Tonight is the eve of my return to CollegeLand. Today is also the day that I had to drop my little brother off at the airport. He's going to spend nine months in Italy. By himself.
My dear readers, that was very difficult.
Out of my three brothers, he's the one I haven't really connected with yet. In fact, we spent quite a few of our high school years hating each other. Well, I never really hated him and I don't think he actually hated me, but we acted that way. We haven't had more than a simple conversation in months. Every time we get together, my parents warn us not to fight, to "be pleasant" with each other.
But I still cried.
I honestly didn't think I would. I thought it would be exciting to drop him off, wave goodbye, be the big sister sending him off on an adventure. Instead, I bit my lip as he turned his back for the final time and walked away. Then I lowered my sunglasses (inside the airport) so my parents wouldn't see me tear up.
So why? Why did all this emotion suddenly hit me when I'm usually a rather stoic person?
Being the writer that I am, I'm betting it's the symbolism. (Did you hear that, English teachers everywhere?)
It struck me as I walked out of that airport, I wasn't only saying goodbye to my brother, but to the end of something I've been a part of for nineteen years. It's the end of being a kid, a child or whatever you want to call us. We're adults now, all four of us and there's nothing I can do about it. Yes, I grew up a whole lot when I went away to school last year but one thing that remained constant was my brother was still in high school. Behind me, following in my footsteps, just as I followed (somewhat) in the footsteps of my older brothers. Now I don't know where he is. I can't call him when I have a weird question or ask him about kids from school. And this to me, is something new.
Growing up and moving on. It's not easy. It's weird. Sometimes it hurts more than you think it will. But it will happen, regardless of how much I wish I was still building with blocks in the hallway while my parents cooked dinner in the next room.
So this post is a shout out to my brother. I don't pray often but I pray right now for this: keep him safe and bring him home again. Make sure he stumbles then pick him up again to show him that it's okay to fall. Let him have the time of his life but please God, don't let him grow up too fast.
Goodbyes are hard. But it will make our next hello that much sweeter :)

(Circa 1995)

(Circa 1996)

(Summer 2012)

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

The Dog Days are Here

I can't believe the number of blogs starting to pop up all over the place recently, including several by friends of mine. Everyone seems to have one now! But that's okay because it keeps me motivated to update mine.
You know what else I can't believe?
There are only 11 days left of summer. Eleven. The last time I checked, I had three and a half months to spend lazing around the pool, taking long walks and finishing a novel or two. While I did spend a sufficient amount of time by the pool and even managed to fit in a few walks, that stubborn novel is not finished. Not even close. I even set a deadline but you know, those don't really seem to work. They just kind of skid by while waving as they round the corner and disappear. Lovely things, aren't they?
However, I can't say this summer has been a complete bust. I've got to do a lot of cool things including going to BookExpoAmerica, vacation in the Adirondacks for not one, not two, but THREE weeks (I'm a lucky gal!), and going to a huge family wedding just last weekend. I really am quite happy with the life I have.
In other news, I just purchased my first set of pots and pans which is also very exciting. I also now own my own cookie sheet, chef knife, and cheese grater, among other household items. Guys, I think this means I'm growing up.
No, really.
I move into my very first apartment in ten days which is just absolutely crazy. Just the other day, I was graduating from crib to a big kid bed (just kidding, I don't remember that at all). But seriously, I can't believe how fast time is flying by. For example, today I realized that I've known my oldest best friend for fourteen years. That's like, a really long time.
So what else is so thrilling that I must give you all a blogpost on this fine Tuesday night?

Shark Week is this week! Just this very minute I am watching a special called, "How JAWS Changed the World". Maybe I'm crazy but I find sharks fascinating. You know, as long as I'm far, far away from the real ones.

On Friday, I'm going to Monmouth Race Track (horse-racing). It's super cheap, lots of fun and something different that the whole family can find interesting. Plus, there is the added bonus of gambling! Even though I don't ride horses anymore, I deeply respect these animals and Thoroughbred racing has always been on of my favorite horse sports to watch.

And finally (and perhaps most exciting), Taylor Swift released her new single last night, called "We're Never Ever Getting Back Together". It's very fun, very poppy and not very country but I really love it. Even if you're not a Taylor and/or Country fan, give it a listen. You never know; you might like it!